I think you criticized some staff a bit too harshly and they deserve more credit than you're giving them. For example, you said you don't see Sassafras anymore. I don't think that's a very fair critique because you yourself are not online 24/7, even if you add it might be because of conflicting time-zones, he is probably not too happy about that.
I think you should give them more positive feedback because they sure deserve it and once you do that, you can make your staff application and join the team with positive attitude, instead of this negative one.
Just my take on it man, happy holidays!