pizzapants

Hi there everyone! My name is pizzapants. Today we're going to math the living sh*t heck out of the time required to get some really cool items.

Keep in mind that these calculations are not based on player averages. Your time may not equal what is listed. This guide is intended to give you a general idea on how long it will take to get some of these sweet delicious items.

Also shout-outs to Thunk for helping acquire some of the kill times.

The TLDR; Section:

It's dangerous to read forum posts alone. Here, take these:

• Elite Void (Ranged Only): 2.86 Hours
• Full Elite Void Set: 3.42 Hours
• Black Mask: 3.55 Hours
• Abyssal Whip: 7.33 Hours

Guide Help:

In this guide the layout of each item is going to be broken down like this:

[Title] - The name of the item we're going for.

[Estimations] - The conservative estimates we're going to use.

[Math] - The calculations we'll be using to solve for the total time.

[Total Time] - The estimated amount of time needed to acquire the listed item.

Some things you may not know:

[Assumption] - A thing that is accepted as true or is certain to happen, without proof

/ - this symbol means 'Divided by'.

* - this symbol means 'Multiplied by'.

~ - this symbol means 'Approximately'.

Full Elite Void:

For the full elite void set we're going to establish three assumptions:

1. The amount of time it will take to finish one game of pest control is 50 seconds.
2. The amount of points you will receive per game of pest control is 3.
3. For every hour spent grinding, we'll be taking a 15 minute break.

Let's say I want to only get enough pest control points for the ranged helmet, body, legs, and gloves.

I would need 510 PC points.

Without Breaks:
510 PC points / 3 PC points per game = 170 games needed.
170 games needed * 50 seconds = 8500 seconds.
8500 seconds / 3600 seconds per hour = 2.36111 hours needed.

With Breaks:
510 PC points / 3 PC points per game = 170 games needed.
170 games needed * 50 seconds = 8500 seconds.
8500 seconds / 3600 seconds per hour = 2.36 hours.
~2 total hours * 15 minutes = 30 minutes of breaks.
30 minutes of breaks / 60 minutes in an hour = 0.5 hours of breaks.
2.36 hours + .5 hours of breaks = 2.86 hours needed.

About 2.86 hours needed to get yourself a set of ranged void.

If I wanted to get a full set of elite void I would need 630 PC points.

Without Breaks:
630 PC points / 3 PC points per game = 210 games needed.
210 games needed * 50 seconds = 10500 seconds.
10500 seconds / 3600 seconds per hour = 2.92 hours needed.

With Breaks:
630 PC points / 3 PC points per game = 210 games needed.
210 games needed * 50 seconds = 10500 seconds.
10500 seconds / 3600 seconds per hour = 2.92 hours needed.
~2 total hours * 15 minutes = 30 minutes of breaks.
30 minutes of breaks / 60 minutes in an hour = 0.5 hours of breaks.
2.92 hours + .5 hours of breaks = 3.42 hours needed.

About 3.42 hours needed to get a full set of elite void.

Black Mask:

For the black mask we're going to establish five assumptions:

1. The amount of kills needed to get the black mask is 500.
2. The amount of time it takes to kill a Cave Horror is 14 seconds.
3. The amount of kills we will get each trip is 80.
4. The amount of time it takes to make a town run to restore health and prayer points is 25 seconds.
5. For every 40 minutes spent grinding, we'll be taking a 15 minute break.

Alright. Time to kill 500 Cave Horrors.

Without Breaks:
500 Cave Horror kills * 18 seconds per kill = 9000 seconds.
500 Cave Horror kills / 80 kills per trip = 6.25 trips.
~7 trips * 25 seconds = 175 seconds.
9000 seconds + 175 seconds = 9175 seconds needed.
9175 seconds needed / 3600 seconds in a hour = 2.55 hours needed.

With Breaks:
500 Cave Horror kills * 18 seconds per kill = 9000 seconds.
500 Cave Horror kills / 80 kills per trip = 6.25 trips.
~7 trips * 25 seconds = 175 seconds.
9000 seconds + 175 seconds = 9175 seconds needed.
9175 seconds needed / 60 seconds in a minute = 152.92 minutes.
~153 minutes / 40 minutes = 3.83 breaks taken.
~4 breaks taken * 15 minutes = 60 minutes taken in breaks.
2.55 hours needed + 1 hour taken in breaks = 3.55 hours needed.

About 3.55 hours needed to get yourself a black mask.

Will you be lucky enough to get a black mask within 500 kills? I wasn't.

Abyssal Whip:

For the abyssal whip we're going to establish x assumptions:

1. The amount of kills needed to get the abyssal whip is 500.
2. The amount of time it takes to kill an Abyssal Demon is 38 seconds.
3. The amount of kills we will get each trip is 80.
4. The amount of time it takes to make a town run to restore health and prayer points is 25 seconds.
5. For every 40 minutes spent grinding, we'll be taking a 15 minute break.

Are you ready to cry into 500 Abyssal Demons? I know I'm not.

Without Breaks:
500 Abyssal Demon kills * 38 seconds per kill = 19000 seconds.
500 Abyssal Demon kills / 80 kills per trip = 6.25 trips.
~7 trips * 25 seconds = 175 seconds.
19000 seconds + 175 seconds = 19175 seconds needed.
19175 seconds needed / 3600 seconds in a hour = 5.33 hours needed.

With Breaks:
500 Abyssal Demon kills * 38 seconds per kill = 19000 seconds.
500 Abyssal Demon kills / 80 kills per trip = 6.25 trips.
~7 trips * 25 seconds = 175 seconds.
19000 seconds + 175 seconds = 19175 seconds needed.
19175 seconds needed / 60 seconds in a minute = 319.58 minutes.
~320 minutes / 40 minutes = 8 breaks taken.
~8 breaks taken * 15 minutes = 120 minutes taken in breaks.
5.33 hours needed + 2 hours taken in breaks = 7.33 hours needed.

About 7.33 hours needed to get an abyssal whip. Yikes.

That's about it for now. I do plan on updating this guide as a push for more and more content on Mr. Ironpants.

If you feel that any of the assumptions I made were absurd, do tell me.

I am more than willing to update this little blurb of information.

Also, if any of you are willing to farm some information for me I would really appreciate it.

Do you ever dream of a world where sought after late game items are dirt cheap on the trading post?

Do you ever dream of a world where you have single-handedly manipulated the price of an item?

Hi, I'm Pizzapants, and today I'm going to help you realize that your dreams can become reality.

The Introduction:

I know at this point you may all be thinking:

"Manipulating prices? Is this guy nuts?"

Well, I am nuts, but my insanity is not due to my belief in price manipulation, no, no, no...

Price manipulation is so easy, it can be broken down into a simple five-step process. I know that some of you may have a hard time remembering five whole steps, so I've come up with a handy little acronym to help you remember them:

1. Price
2. Earn
3. "New Method"
4. Information
5. Sales

or, P.E.N.I.S.

Price:

Price, is the first step of the P.E.N.I.S. protocol.

It involves finding an item on the Alora trading post who's price is way too high for your tastes.

Earn:

Earn, is the second step of the P.E.N.I.S. protocol.

It involves doing a little bit of research on where the item comes from and how easy it is to acquire, or earn said item.

The item you want to crash has to be an item with a relatively high drop rate, as we want to try and flood the market with its juicy deliciousness.

"New Method":

"New Method", is the third and most important step of the P.E.N.I.S. protocol.

We all know that people don't click on posts for information. They click on post for that sweet, juicy, big 'ole title.

It's like click-bait: the more flashy and exciting your title is, the higher probability that someone will click on your forum post.

Take a look at the title of this thread, for example.

We don't want our title to actually inform people about what our thread is about. We want to fool people into thinking that our thread is the solution to all of the worlds problems.

If you need some examples, here are a few...

The Attention Grabber:

YOU WON'T BELIEVE HOW THIS SMALL ALORA PLAYER MADE MAX CASH STACKS

The Not Enough Information Title:

Tips and Trix for Muney Makeing

My Personal Favorite:

Watch as the forum moderators actually do their job.

None of your titles have to be true, in fact, none of the example titles have an inkling of truth about them.

The point I'm trying to make here is: don't be afraid to lie with your title. We want BIG and flashy, not honest and informational.

Also make sure to include "New" somewhere in the title. Really gets everyone's hopes up.

Information:

Information, is the fourth and second most important step of the P.E.N.I.S. protocol.

Honestly, who has time for typing up a guide anymore?

I know I don't

Videos are the way to go. No one would ever, in their right mind, read a giant wall of text. *COUGH, COUGH COUGH*

So, make sure your video has at least two of the following:

1. An obnoxiously long intro video.
2. An incredibly pixelated screen capture of you doing the money making method.

That's it. That's all you need.

Now, what you actually do in the video is somewhat important. Remember, we're trying to crash the price of a sought after item in the trading post.

Try and go into some detail on how your item is acquired/what skill requirements you need to acquire said item.

ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT THE AUDIO QUALITY OF YOUR VOICE MUST BE GOD AWFUL.

If you need a reference point for this, fart into your microphone. If the audio recording of your explanation doesn't resemble this, you're doing everything wrong.

Sales:

Sales, is the final step of the P.E.N.I.S. protocol.

This step involves convincing people that the selling price of the farmed item is waaaaaay cheaper than what it should be.

Make sure you stress this in your video. If you don't sell it well enough, you won't have any hopes of crashing the price of your chosen item.

Well guys, I hoped you enjoyed my informational guide. As long as you remember your P.E.N.I.S. you'll be crashing item prices in no time!

tl;dr start a bot farm