Hello all, thank you for viewing this memorial service for the mourning of one of if not the most historic articles in Alora’s great community, the deaths of Smiv’s Hardcore Ironman... Men..Many men… These young men had no idea what they were getting into when they joined this crazy world but they knew one thing, they couldn't die! They would try to play their own game, but there was always one thing standing in their way, the pesky creator, Smiv. He would always have to make things difficult when the Hardcores were trying to have fun. All along Smiv really thought he could help their game and make something new out of these young men, but all he'd do is just get them false hope, making each one better in some way then another, just to fall just like the others. Smiv couldn't keep alive his own Hardcore Ironman so he would have to thieve and use others just to try and make himself better and he would then STILL fail from making himself known as the "HCIM extraordinaire". For these reasons and many many more, we send our thoughts and prayers to these men as we read about their stories.
Firstly the OG, @HC KAZOO was born into the community after creating a beautiful Kazoo creating in a Alora staff group Scribblo event. With such little information of the Hardcore ideas he was just around to have fun in the game. Enjoying the early game of low level skilling he decided to get into the combat grind and got some levels and new the brothers from the Barrow's hills are weak to magic and as many people in Alora do is send it at the Barrows minigame. Just four days into his reign, @Smiv decided to take over the account as the kill counts of Barrows were going up, and when he went to pray melee against the nasty Torag, he actually protected from RANGED against this warrior and Torag took advantage of this and slayed the killing HCIM to his death, thus concluding the run of @HC KAZOO. May he rest in peace.
After two days of resting, we've returned with @Died2Torag This time around, the young man took into account needing to get an idea for skilling, so he would take just a little more time getting some early game achievements and skilling done. But the same as the Kazoo, really wanted to get the revenge of Torag (hence the name). And thankfully he was not letting Torag take him down again on this journey and took it back to some skilling and actually passed the other Hardcores total levels! After this he decided to go and get some easy unique items for get over yell, and was successful in this, but also ended up being the fall of him after Dagannoth Rex took sneaky spawn on @Died2Torag and murdered him before he could get his protect from melee up just 18 days of being alive. Hallowed be his name.
Once again, taking a few weeks break to clear the mind, the Kazoo has returned as @Alive Kazoo. . There were no goals made for this account, just LIVE since that was actually a hard thing to do for @Smiv . Just doing some normal skilling and combat like the others (nothing eventful happened), the Kazoo took a slayer task of Demonic Gorillas and thought this wouldn't be too hard, but with a mix of bad concentration and bad brain activity, the Demonic Gorilla slaughtered @Alive Kazoo ending his career as a HCIM. (There was no screenshot for the death level as it was used as a normal ironman for a bit but approx 1,300 total at death not much longer after making the account)
From another few weeks of breaking, the Kazoo tried to make a sneaky comeback with @Whos Kazoo but was shortly spotted AFKing Karambwanji fishing. @Smiv knew what he was doing with this account and all it was was to be a background account, @Smiv was big into theatre of blood at the time so he was raiding often so he couldn't keep full eyes on the Hardcore so it was be an AFK skilling account hopefully but was off and on for quite a few months. But as the AFKing was happening, there was a bright idea to AFK slayer while raiding and a GREATER DEMON smited @Whos Kazoo , thus killing off the Kazoo's. ( Or did it?)
@Smiv needed a break, soon after he even left the Alora staff team after being bullied off the team. A couple months later, he tried to show them up for bullying him away, and making yet Another HC bringing @HAHASMIVNOOB Again was a little sneaky to try and keep from being judged too much. This time around he was having fun with the game again, completing achievements left and right, not dying to Torag's with getting over 100 barrows kc! After even getting his first skill 90+ in all of the accounts, quite good and strong barrows items, he took his luck back to the Dagannoth kings, but oh no, @Smiv as joining the quite recent update at the time Castle Wars. Whilst of course being Demon Smiv in the Castle Wars mini-game, the big bad Dagannoth Rex once again decided to have an easy slap of @HAHASMIVNOOB and took him out quick and easy. Sit nerd.
Then @Smiv as flamed back into the staff team and everyone kept calling him Smic as a meme, so he took it into his hands to make she he gets the name Smic, and makes it of course a HCIM @Smic He made this with a goal of doing what big man @Some random did and so some wilderness achievements to hopefully help ensure that he would try and stick with this account and actually live on to max etc. And this was accomplished! He did one wilderness achievement! One more than all the others combined! @Smiv really thought he had it! While doing some routine skilling (routine as in things that have been done 5 times previously) he finally get little partner or a pet Beaver! As well as some routine skilling, he was going to do some little slayer (medium task if you will) and go kill some Kalphite Soldiers on task. Well while this was happening @Smiv thought "hey it's just Kalphites they won't do any harm" and went to go make some french fries so he can grow big and strong like @Lowkey . The Soldiers heard that and made a mission to attack @Smic , so when he least expected it, @Smic was trampled by many Kalphite Soldiers and murdered in cold blood.
Please, HCIM owners, take good care of your Hardcore Ironmen. They too are just people, like all of us normies out there. These HCIM's don't ask to come into the community just to be killed and meme'd. I hope your guy's takeaway from this is to pay attention when playing your Hardcores when grinding them so you can all grow to be the best of the best. Best of luck to each and every one of you.
PSA: Hey guys, on a serious note thank you for viewing my thread! I wanna especially thank @DB Aspect for the sick banner for the thread and @Five for the idea to make this. It was a lot of fun to make this thread and relive these tragic moments for you guys! I hope you guys enjoyed and laughed as much as I did seeing how much of a pleb I am! See you guys in game and hopefully it's not because of me dying again...